mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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