I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
