I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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