you traded sex for a burrito?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
