Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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