they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
