your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
