i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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