She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
