didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
