Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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