Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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