On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
