Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
