I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
