whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
