What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
