don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
my being single is dangerous.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
