i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
