Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
