Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
