woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
