Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
