I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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