Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
