I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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