I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
