I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
