I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
