He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
