You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
