No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
