I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
