My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
