did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
