He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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