Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The feeling are messing with the penis
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
