I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
