we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize