We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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