i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
COCAINE IS GR8
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
