Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
