I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
