just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Never underestimate the power of titties
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize