Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
send nudes
from the living room?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
