She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
