i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
