Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
