that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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