fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
