its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
