so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
