glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Four minutes until I can fart!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
