dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize