How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
