ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
