We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize